My First Love :(

I’m up late…thinking. Recently my ex-girlfriend began watching my snapchat stories again and then a couple nights ago she followed me on Instagram. That might not mean much to some people but it does to me. She was my first love..the first person I let into my life and in the end we both ended up broken. She was the only person I have ever cried over…

Me and her met at the end of 7th grade we were both running for treasure. Not going to lie I was intimidated by her. We both didn’t win which is too bad because she would’ve made a great one. We became best friends in 8th grade. We were so close. At the end of 8th grade I started to realize that I liked her…but not in a friend way. In 9th grade we dated but at the time I was so lost. I didn’t know my sexuality but I did know that I liked her. I thought I HAD to know my sexuality and I really let it get to me. I screwed up our relationship. She gave me a second chance…I messed that up also. Then she gave me another one and honestly I don’t know what I was thinking..I guess I was scared. Scared that I would let her in and then get hurt. But like I said before we both ended up hurt.

During the summer I straightened my act up. I got my shit together. But now it’s too late…I’m sure she has moved on now and even if she hasn’t I don’t want to hurt her again. I love her and I always will. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and do things differently..but I guess that’s not possible, huh?


4 thoughts on “My First Love :(

  1. It must be hard for you at the moment :(. Try not to be too hard on yourself-you’re only young and it’s so easy to make mistakes, especially if you were unsure about your sexuality! Please don’t beat yourself up too much. I know it hurts like hell, but things will get better. I remember when I split up with my first love (I’m sounding ancient, but it was literally last year ;)), I was so upset that I thought I’d never move on-but time is a great healer. Have you spoken to her since then?x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! No we haven’t spoken since July. As much as I want to text her or call her I know it’s probably not the best idea lol. Before me and her dated we had been best friends for about 3 years!


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